generation to generation. Parents need to communicate and hear what the child is trying to say. They need to be allowed to speak.” Papali’i Carol Ah- Chong, Fa’ataua Le Ola, Inquiry public hearings The Inquiry has already found strong evidence to suggest that the lack of communication between parent and child, exacerbated by verbal abuse can lead directly to suicide and in Teuila’s15 case, like many others, this is exactly what happened. However, it also appears that this lack of communication leads to frustrations, anger and resentment within children, which can be harboured into adulthood and ultimately expressed through violent outbursts (whilst outside the scope of the ToR of the Inquiry it also plays a role in the current prevalence of inter-school violence.) What is also true is that this did not always used to be the norm and some witnesses to the Inquiry gave evidence relaying how in times gone by families would routinely sit together daily after evening prayers and discuss any issues or concerns, working through them together as a group and where the principle of fa’aaloalo (respect) could be adhered to without depriving children of a voice. “Children should be seen and not heard and eat last. I don’t know where this fallacy came from. Growing up in Savaii and Upolu I experienced the joys of being a child. My grandparents were my storytellers and advocates, my voice. We ate at the same time and ate the same things. I believe this is the true Fa’asamoa when children are well fed and treated equally. Children should be restored to their original position within society” Fialauia Toailoa Amituanai, Inquiry public hearings Not only were children afforded a voice in previous times but they were also treated equally and afforded the reciprocal respect and protection the Fa’asamoa demands and this too has been lost over time. The increasing lack of communication between parents and children also makes sexual violence less easy for young people to report, and thus it is allowed to continue. This is also exacerbated by the fact that speaking about sex remains a taboo. Lani’s story16 of survival neatly highlights the ongoing and gradual nature that sexual violence can take. If parents do not talk to their children about the nature of healthy relationships then children are less likely to be able to identify what is happening to them as abuse. Even if they are able to identify it then the lack of communication between themselves and their parents often means they are unable to raise the issue and have to continue to suffer in silence. INQUIRY FINDING 13: Talanoa (communication) between parents and child has broken down and has been replaced by violence. The lack of communication also places children at risk of further violence. 15 16 Refer to Case Study 3. Refer to Case Study 6.