92 3. Denial of identity in everyday life and deprivation of human rights 1) Being denied a self-identity in everyday life – A worthless body As a result of a life without nationality, North Korean refugee women led a life in China in which they always had to surrender themselves to others even when they suffered an injustice for fear of being reported to the authorities. They could never express their own views and thoughts in their daily lives but, first of all, had to duck and lower themselves; this form of life did not apply only to their relations with strangers. Also in marital relations and in family relationships brought about by purchased marriages this life of ‘surrendering oneself to others’ continued. Being ignored and treated as subhuman within family relations made these women think of ‘themselves as worthless bodies’. In people’s lives, how could there be only good days everyday. Even if we wanted to argue with others we couldn’t argue. Because, if your relationship gets bad in the course of an argument, these people would go and report you. When you’re reported, then what? We get always arrested. So you have to surrender to others. To live like that was … really very difficult. You keep doing this, no matter what these people say. Because we are worthless bodies. Even in the family I lived with, they treated me like something worthless, treated me with harsh contempt. Even if you give birth to a child and live with them, they don’t treat you like a human being at all. This is very much a pain that not only me but all &orth Koreans experience. (Kim Myeonghui, 2009, 3-3) They think if they just give us &orth Koreans food and clothes even really young people can keep living with them. If you express your opinion just a little, there are endless numbers of people who say [sarcastically] ‘If you don’t like it, leave it.’ (Mun Gyeongsun, 2009, 2-7) When I was in China, [I had to tell] lies, which is a thing I really hate to do, because I particularly hate to lie. … Because my heart was always like this, it got all bad. If someone comes and knocks on the door, you are just in a state of shock and, first of all, have to find a hole to hide, and when you talk to people, sometimes these things came out of my mouth even without me knowing it. So you are shocked by that, too, and again, because you don’t know the Chinese language very well, people [say] ‘You don’t even know the language of your country’, this, too, is such a big stress, there were also things like that. (Han Junhui, 2009, 2-1) North Korean refugee women in China choose to disguise themselves as ‘Chosun-jok’ women as a means of survival. In the case of Kim Jinsun (2009, 1-4), this narrator did