Images of Self
How children feel when they are not listened to
The children were then asked to express their feelings, on a white sheet of paper, when adults fail
to listen to their views and opinions. A whole gamut of emotions was described, ranging from sad,
bored, unsatisfied, angry, revengeful, annoyed and frustrated to vexed, incensed and irritated.
One child said it makes her ‘feel smaller than I am’, while many described feeling like they were
‘not important’. ‘I feel unsatisfied and I also feel that I am not that important’, was how one of the
children put it.
Children also expressed negative feelings about the adults themselves, describing those who refuse
to listen as ‘stupid and inconsiderate.’ Some also felt whatever stress teachers were under, it was
not ‘a valid reason’ for not listening to children. Another child described the refusal by some adults
to take their views into consideration as a violation of their rights, not simply their rights as
children, but as citizens proper.
We feel that we don’t have any rights to speak, and we don’t have freedom of
expression. If we consider this from a constitutional point of view, we are losing some
rights given by Article 27 of the Constitution.
The poor self-images—such as feeling unimportant, stupid or ‘small’—children develop when
adults fail to listen to children need to be given serious consideration.
Recommendations for adults
Children’s views on how to make things better
The next task set for children using the Kaleidoscope was to suggest ways in which they think the
status quo could be changed so that space can be created in which adults would be more
accommodating of children’s right to participation.
Once again, the results were wide ranging from the suggestion that coaches should be better paid so
they would be more accommodating of children’s opinions to: ‘Tell[ing] them off myself (I want
to, but I can’t, I am too small)’.
Ideally, what most children would like to see happen is for adults to ‘realise that they should not
always consider their decisions as the best’ and to ‘involve ideas of students’ in making their
decisions. As one child stated:
I want to make them understand that involving me or getting opinions from me can
make things better. I want some sort of opinion from me [to be taken into account] in
every activity I participate.
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