She did not want to break her family apart so Losa suffered in silence, like many
women all over Samoa in similar relationships.
*Names changed to protect the identities of those involved.
Myth 9: Fuā (Jealousy) causes men to beat their wives
Reality: Jealousy arises from a combination of the need for power and control
and traditional gender roles of men and women. In a patriarchal society men are
deemed to ‘own’ their women. Any man whose wife or partner is seen to be
talking to other men can be viewed as being undermined or having lost power
and control. Jealousy is the consequence of a man’s need to retain power and
control and perceiving that to be undermined by their partner talking to another
man (or being suspected of it). Jealousy is a very powerful emotion which can be
a trigger for violence but is not a cause. It must also be noted that jealousy is not
solely a male preserve. It is simply far more prevalent among males arising from
the patriarchal nature of society.
The presence of jealousy in a relationship shows how there has been a breakdown of the Fa’asamoa. If
the Fa’asamoa is being well respected then there is feāvaa’i (mutual respect), fa’atuatua (trust), amiotonu
(honesty) and alofa (love) in the relationship. Once these are violated or not respected it can lead to
jealousy, which in turn can trigger violence. The human rights framework provides guidance on how to
protect against violence and prevent it from happening. Applying these principles can in turn help to
reassert the Fa’asamoa principles that were ignored in the first instance.
Case Study 17: Malo’s* anger and finding God
Malo used to beat his wife and children routinely.
“It was normal if they had done something wrong, or even if they had not done
anything wrong. I used to beat my wife hard. Every time she speaks back to me or
does not do what I say. That’s one beating. If she sends money to her family
without asking, that’s another beating.”
For 20 years Malo beat his wife until one day she left, taking the children with her.
It was many more years before Malo faced up to his problem and sought help. He
found it in the form of his church minister and he has now turned his life around.
*Names changed to protect the identities of those involved.
Malo confirms what we have already seen in violence against both children and adults – often it is nothing
to do with the actions of the victim, it is solely arising from the frustrations of the perpetrator.