7.1.2 Harsh verbal discipline/ violence “They say words out of love for the child to make them stronger. I think sometimes these words go too far. I’ve even heard mothers calling their own daughters pa’umuku (sluts and whores) and they think those are the type of words that will challenge them to change but in fact they don’t.” Inquiry public consultations participant It was clear during the Inquiry that for some, harsh verbal discipline/violence was not considered a form of violence. Some reasons for this may include the lack of understanding of what constitutes harsh verbal/violence, or the consideration of it to be normal because of the way they were brought up. Inquiry Info Point 5: What is verbal abuse of a child?5 Harsh verbal discipline or verbal abuse/violence can negatively impact the development of a child and includes: • Verbal intimidation (shouting, yelling, threatening or screaming at the child); • Vulgarity (swearing or cursing at the child); • Humiliation (calling the child dumb, or lazy, or useless or something similar). Harsh verbal discipline/violence (and emotional abuse) of children is hard to measure as it is very rarely reported yet the consequences can be far reaching. It often goes hand in hand with physical violence, as in the case of Falaniko’s wife with their children. The Commissioners were extremely concerned to hear stories relating to verbal discipline/ violence suffered by children and the impact that it could have on their lives. “I have seen women and children […] who are spoken to in a manner that is ‘violent’, and ‘negative’, sworn at, told they are useless, not worth anything – which in turn manifests itself physically in the form of illnesses like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder.” Inquiry public consultations participant Case Study 3: Teuila’s* pregnancy Teulia became pregnant as a teenager. It was not planned but it was something that happened. She turned to her family for support and care. 5 Ming-Te Wang and Sarah Kenney. (2014). “Longitudinal links between fathers’ and mothers’ harsh verbal discipline and adolescents’ conduct problems and depressive symptoms.” Child Development Journal, 85(3). pp. 908 – 923. Document 107 of Inquiry anthology.