Training Module on the Right to Mental Health for the Security Sector VICTIM: “I’m trying to think positive about this, but what am I supposed to do, just take your word for it that I’ll be safe?” RESPONDER: [stays silent] VICTIM: “I guess you wouldn’t lie to me about something like that, would you? I mean what would be the point?” ** Like all active listening techniques, silence and pauses are best used in combination with other techniques and may be particularly effective when used in conjunction with minimal encouragers. “I” Statements • People under extreme stress often become suspicious and defensive, and any comments or statements that are too directive may sound like an insult or attack. • To keep potentially accusatory sounding “you’s” out of the conversation, use “I” statements to clue the subject in on what effect they’re having on the responder’s perception, while at the same time allowing for some subjectivity and personalization of the responder • Victims will generally respond better to a responder whom they regard as a flesh-and-blood human being who cares, instead of some cop who is barking orders. The basic model is “I feel . . . when you . . . because. ” VICTIM: “You don’t care about me—all you want is to get your damn information so you can solve your case. You’re just like that first cop who was here—you guys are all alike.” RESPONDER: “When you’re yelling like that, it’s hard for me to focus on what we’re talking about.” Or RESPONDER: “I don’t know about anybody else, but all I want to do is hear what you have to say.” Open-Ended Questions 53 • This technique has wide applicability in both law enforcement and clinical crisis intervention work, from police interview and interrogation to suicide prevention and on-scene intervention with crime victims. • The responder asks questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. This encourages the victim to say more without the responder actually directing the conversation.