10 Craig Waterworth, Nursing lecturer at Massey University • Craig Waterworth presented on a short course that has been developed on understanding and supporting intersex people. The course content covers five central modules: ° Definitions and manifestations ° Psychological dimensions ° Clinical concerns ° Decision making principles ° How to practice as an ally 11 Helen Gardner, Parent advocate • Helen Gardner, who has worked alongside families and caregivers of children with variations of sexual development, discussed the important role of parents/caregivers as primary healthcare providers for their children. • Explained the impacts of a medical diagnosis on whänau that are not often talked about, such as fear, shame, and grief. The way medicalised language is used in this process impacts on the wellbeing of parents and can ultimately impact parent-child relationships. • Suggested the following template for a first discussion by a physician with parents: “You have a wonderful new baby. Congratulations. I can see your baby is just perfect. I’m pleased to be your family’s physician and I’ll be meeting with you regularly over the next few weeks and months to talk with you about your baby’s health. Your baby has some health needs but they are not life threatening. In fact, we see these things quite a lot and we have a team of people here who can support you and will be happy to answer your questions.” Intersex Roundtable Report 2017 • Helen presented key tips for medical professionals supporting intersex children and their whänau. These include: Relationship development: active listening is °  an skill ° Let your words be ones of empathy and hope Reassure us: “You have a simply beautiful °  child, and our team will support and help you work through this.” Pass us as parents on to a member of a °  specialised team who has excellent people skills, an understanding of our child’s medical condition, and who is warm and reassuring. Ensure this coordinator provides us with °  basic written information to take home, as well as contact names and numbers we can ring if we have concerns. Please avoid raising any big or frightening °  medical issues such as genital surgery for at least the first six months, unless there is medical urgency. The first months are mighty tough without this kind of pressure. If we do our own research and have questions, assure us that our baby’s life is not at risk and that there are international guidelines for providing surgery at optimal times, if and when these are needed. We need time to ask questions as well as °  listen. We need to be involved in decisionmaking and to be given choices. Remember: “Nothing about us without us”. This makes us feel valued, respected, and cared for. Finally, please keep in mind that we are a °  family, and that how we are treated affects our child, and how our child is treated affects our family. Their health is our health. You cannot separate us. We belong together. 11