teaching of the Bible19 and a core principle of human rights.20 Yet, in many respects this reciprocity and
mutuality has diminished in Samoa and communication between parents and children is but one of the
areas in which this has happened.
Establishing effective communication with children has a number of effects on the reduction of risk of
family violence. First it helps to form a close bond between parent and child that eliminates the risk of a
child feeling rejected, which the Inquiry has shown to be the case with physical and harsh verbal discipline.
The second is that it provides children with an avenue to raise concerns and discuss what they are feeling
in general. This has two positive consequences - it means that the child is less likely to suffer from pent
up frustration and anxiety which can lead to violence and it also provides the parent with an opportunity
to understand and shape their child’s spiritual development. The child may have started to be influenced
by troublesome peers or simply have misinterpreted what was expected of them behaviour wise. Having
regular dialogue can help parents identify and correct this, reducing the risk of problematic behaviour.
A specific example of how effective communication can help prevent or protect against family violence is
in relation to sexual violence. Currently a taboo, if parents are able to talk about sexual abuse, what it
looks like and what to do if it occurs then this provides a child with the tools they need to prevent it, or in
the worst case scenario initiate steps that will lead to it stopping and them being provided the care they
need to recover.
It is very easy to talk about effective communication in theory but knowing how to achieve that in practice
may seem harder, especially given the general lack of such skills currently.
The Fa’asamoa says children should be fed with words and that talanoa (communication) is a two way
process. It can only be so if a parent is willing to listen and share (fa’asoa) with their child. In order to have
constructive conversations, especially around sensitive issues such as sexual violence, the vocabulary to
discuss these issues needs to be readily available and widely understood. In Samoa that is not always the
case. Vocabulary should therefore be expanded to provide children and parents with a way to talk
honestly and comprehensively about these matters.
All of these things can be encouraged, discussed and practiced as part of any positive parenting
programme.
RECOMMENDATION 6: Re-establish the Fa’asamoa practice of effective
communication between parent and child.
•
•
19
Teach effective communication and the relevant Fa’asamoa principles
as part of the positive parenting programme.
Develop vocabulary around sexual violence, violence in general and any
other gaps required to facilitate effective child-parent communication.
Matthew 7:12 – “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you; do ye even so to them.”
Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 1 – “All human beings are born free and equal… and should act towards one
another in a spirit of brotherhood.”
20
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