“As a result of these social expectations men may feel obliged to assert their dominance wherever there is a disagreement. If unable to obtain their partner’s compliance by negotiation, some men may feel compelled to resort to abuse because they fear social criticism if they appear to be dominated by a woman.” Samoa Family Health & Safety Study 2000, Inquiry document 83 7.2.4 Violence as a substitute for communication Violence therefore not only becomes a last resort after trying to resolve matters through communication but eventually comes to replace communication altogether. With most children having been raised to be seen and not heard, effective communication skills are not generally high so the resort to violence occurs much quicker and may even be the default for some. “Not only is abuse primarily about power, but it is often a substitute for effective communication. Abuse may become a habit, completely replacing all attempts to resolve conflict by peaceful means”. Samoa Family Health & Safety Study 2000, Inquiry document 83 7.2.5 Sexual entitlement It is not just the lack of communication skills that carries over from childhood into adulthood and leads to family violence. The idea that men are natural sexual predators with an insatiable appetite is developed from a young age as girls are told to prevent men and boys being tempted. This inevitably leads to a sense of entitlement where both women and men believe it to be true. It is not. “Violence is all because of the clothes. The way youths are dressing up. Kids do not know how to dress. Girls should not be wearing shorts in front of their brothers. That is why there is sexual violence.” Matai participant, Inquiry Public Hearings This argument does not hold true on any level. First let us consider that Samoan women have not always historically required to fully cover themselves in public yet in those days sexual violence of the nature we see today was not the problem it is now. Secondly, men walking down the street topless does not lead to women losing control of their sexual urges and assaulting them there and then. If the argument is that men have different sexual urges from that of women why then does this not apply to all men? Many men are able to control themselves yet others cannot. There is no evidence at all to suggest that men are uncontrollable sexual beings, and much evidence to the contrary. 7.2.6 Victim blaming The above logic, commonly heard throughout the Inquiry, is a classic example of ‘victim blaming’ and those who engage in it are playing a substantial role in allowing the continuation and growth of sexual