Therefore, before moving on to other elements of attitudes towards children which have an impact on
the prevalence of family violence, it is helpful to consider why so many people maintain the need for
physical and harsh verbal punishment/ discipline of children. This happens for two reasons – the first being
that violence towards children is a shortcut to discipline and those who wish to keep employing it find
various excuses to do so and ignore the potential negative consequences. The second is that many people
who were brought up being smacked or shouted at believe this to be why they turned out so well, despite
no firm evidence to support this.
There is a simple misunderstanding of cause and effect that is widespread and is summed up by the
common sentiments: ‘well I was hit as a child and it didn’t do me any harm’, or ‘getting beaten as a child
made me the person I am today’.
Neither of these statements are true nor have any basis in fact. They highlight two common family
violence myths which need to be dispelled.
Myth 10: ‘Being smacked as a child made me into the good person I am today’
or ‘It didn’t do me any harm’
Myth 11: Being exposed to violence as a child means they are destined to go on
and become a perpetrator or victim of violence when they grow up.
Reality: When someone says of a violent upbringing ‘well it didn’t do me any
harm’, or ‘it made me the person I am today’, neither are true or have any factual
basis. However, neither does it mean that a child who has a violent upbringing is
guaranteed to go on to become a perpetrator or victim of violence when they
grow up.
A violent upbringing increases the chance a child will go on to become a
perpetrator or victim, it does not make it certain. That means that a person can
have a violent upbringing and go on to lead a life totally free of violence, and
indeed many do. If we look at 100 children who grow up without violence 10 may
go on to be victims or perpetrators of violence but for 100 children who grow up
with violent discipline this number may be 30. Therefore the people who say ‘it
made me who I am’ or ‘it never did me any harm’ may be the lucky ones who did
not succumb to the increased risk.
Similarly, out of the 100 children who grew up with violence it is not inevitable
that they will go on to experience further violence. This is important to
acknowledge so that they are not stigmatized and assume the role of victim or
perpetrator, fulfilling the prophecy that was put upon them.
In attributing their good character to their violent upbringing cause and effect is being confused. A person
can grow up to be good despite having being physically and harshly verbally disciplined, but not because
Select target paragraph3
Connect to a paragraph
Connect to an entity
Disable highlights
Add to table of contents